Ryley & Jesse
In November of 2015 we were so excited to learn that we were pregnant with our third child. Our two boys, Rowan (who was 5) and Ryker (who was 2) couldn't wait to become big brothers. A few weeks later we learned we were having a girl! We shared the news and we're so excited to add the final piece to our family.
In the weeks leading up to our first anatomy scan I was nervous, I didn't feel like everything was "normal". I actually texted my friend and said I was nervous because something just didn't seem right. My husband reassured me that she was fine and we went about our life.
I didn't feel like everything was "normal".
February 26th 2016 our lives changed forever. We took our boys to the sonogram to see their baby sister and immediately knew something was wrong. The next few hours were a blur of tears, prayers, and our worst fears. Termination was suggested before we even had a diagnosis. Termination was suggested again at 19 weeks when we learned it was anencephaly. A term that was explained to us as "incompatible with life."
Ultimately we chose life for our daughter because it wasn't our choice. The Lord had purposed her for our family, even if it was for a short time. We were surrounded by friends and fellow loss moms who supported us and loved on us daily. The Lord provided every step of the way and made Himself known in the hardest moments. We soaked up all of the time we had with Jaycee and enjoyed more wingstop than I could count and I loved watching her bounce around in my belly.
On June 6th 2016 at 33 weeks Jaycee Grace was born. She weighed 2.4lbs and was 16 inches long. We marveled at her beautiful eyes, lips, toes, and hands. She had so many of the same characteristics as her brothers. She was on this earth for 51 minutes before she went to be with our Heavenly Father. Our boys got to meet her alive and spend time with her which was one of our biggest prayers. The Lord worked in that day and made it a joy filled amidst sorrow time and I am so thankful that He chose us to be her parents.
We marveled at her beautiful eyes, lips, toes, and hands.
Since Jaycee was born I have received my bereavement doula certification as a way to help other families walk through loss. I know the Lord has big things planned for our family through Jaycees story. Our story looks a lot different than I expected, I am constantly reminded that God created us for a purpose and for his glory. I come back to “everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:7 ESV. When I want to ask God "why" I am comforted in knowing that it is for HIS glory!